What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 26.06.2025 06:49
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I write beautiful poetry .
Exactly When Apple Will Launch iPhone 17 And iPhone 17 Pro - Forbes
My family never makes their pension either.
All the time i was locked up.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
What's your photograph of the day 1097?
Ive learnt so much.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I never cut or harmed myself..
Nancy Wilson’s stolen custom-built Telecaster guitar was recovered by police in New Jersey - AP News
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
My life is so biszare .
Why are black women the largest unmarried group in the United States of America?
I was very sick at this time too.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I was seconnd youngest,
When was the first time you felt discriminated against because you were female?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I said to her
Are British people in awe when someone from the United States visits their country?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
This is soul school!.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
CM Punk makes John Cena’s WWE title reign interesting by delivering the Truth - Cageside Seats
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Diddy’s lawyers won’t call witnesses after prosecution rests case - NBC News
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Darwin Loved Worms. They May Have Just Proved Him Wrong About Evolution. - Yahoo
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I could never make a relationship work though!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Solar Orbiter gets world-first views of the Sun’s poles - European Space Agency
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He resisted the act ,that day.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Would this be the day?
But, we were locked up after school.
What are the reasons behind China and Russia's reluctance to integrate into the global economy?
So whats the point in blame.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
She wouldn,t have been !
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Im still living with it.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
So, i spoilt her more .
She married twice! .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Comes on , in middle age.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She found it foreign!.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
But it wasn’t much.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
(And it was in our own minds.)
She loved him until the end.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Why did i forgive my father ?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
We all went to grammer schools
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I have no regrets .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I couldn’t, believe it.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I waited trembling.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I will be 64.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Put me off passion for life!!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Was to survive, this bastard.
It was going to be , some day.
But ive been too sick for many years..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
One cannot live in the past .
Especially a lifetime of it.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I don,t even have a pension.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She was in good health!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
What did i know ?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And i lived it daily.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I was scared of men, in general
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I think the readers, may guess!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I was 9 years of age.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Who then, do I blame.?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He knew the spot.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
We were not on the streets..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
When she asked me how she looked .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The only rule us 5 kids had .